What To Do When You Have Lost Everything?

It was the 1998 Olympics…

Out on the ice, she skated seamlessly. With skills in skating and gymnastics, she graciously and athletically moved. Suddenly, when she went to do a flip, instead of landing on her feet, she fell.

Although she picked herself up quickly, it was too late to win a Gold Metal. That was when she ultimately had to make a decision. Maybe one you have had to make at a different time…

What do you do when you have lost everything you were hoping to win?

One way to look at it is when you have lost everything, you have nothing left to lose. Or put another way you can only go up from there. Or put another way almost anything you do positively will help you be better off, then where you are now…

Sometimes losing can give you another option, if viewed from a different perspective. If you have ever lost something you thought you couldn’t live without, the best thing to realize is now your biggest fear of loss is gone. 

Examples of things you can lose include money, house, relationships, food, friends, confidence, hope, dreams and in my case mobility and health (from 2 carwecks I was in- then gained back).

The most amazing thing is how freeing you can feel once you get over the hurdle of what happened and accept where you are at… Sometimes things come back, which is amazing but if they don’t where can you go from here?

First, you can dream again and gain new things. Maybe think of a possibility that was never there to begin with or a new idea. You might have been given another chance in that area to create something even better.

Second, you can become stronger in the areas of loss. If you lost confidence or went through circumstances that were humiliating/shameful you can grow in the opposite emotions. In fact, every inspirational story usually starts with a loss and goes on to show how someone overcame it. Everyone has mistakes in their past, it is what you do with them today that makes or breaks you.

Sometimes it is the very losses that once overcome (even if it looks different than what you expected) becomes a platform to encourage others. My biggest losses, that I have overcome, are what people beg me to share because it gives them hope they can overcome too.

Back to the Olympian, she did a move at the end of her routine that she is still known for today. It was illegal (disclaimer: I do not condon illegal activities that are harmful/dangerous to yourself or others), however she decided to not worry about the points she lost with the judges. Since she already fell and would not make Gold, she instead focused on gaining the audience’s applause. She focused on a move in her words that was “… in my power to do.”

Daringly, she did a backflip and landed on not two (which was normal for this move in private sectors) but one foot. The crowd responded with cheers as she finished her routine which would go on to land Surya Bonaly, a remembered moment that far outlasted her loss. In fact, it is still remembered today through various clips online (see: for video).

What move can you make today in your area of loss that can outlast and out do your loss and create a gain?

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4 Responses

  1. Rita Richmond says:

    The older I get, the more losses I have experienced. For example, having lost both parents and most of my aunts, uncles, and cousins. But as you say, we need to dream and create again. Thank you for this reminder Grace.

  2. Timothy Lowe says:

    Finally decided to be a Motivational Speaker! Thanks Grace for you ALWAYS GIVING HEART!!!