Daring Dreams
…“live y(our) lives to be worthy of their sacrifice.” -Debbie Lee
Ten years ago I asked Debbie Lee (founder of America’s Mighty Warriors Organization and internationally known and respected leader/speaker), if she would help on a tribute project (see pic below).
She agreed.
I never imagined then, that today we would sit down to laugh, cry and share the personal parts of her story that involve her son, Marc.
Little Bundle
He was a little bundle of joy. Smiling, giggling, and telling knock-knock jokes until he would fall on the ground laughing, his mother Debbie recalls.
Clown With Heart
The older he got, the funnier he got. By his junior and senior year in high school, he was named the class clown. Along with laughing, Marc had a big heart and always stood up for those being picked on.
Rough
Today, Debbie believes Marc used humor to cope as his childhood was not easy. She was married twice. Her final marriage ended when her second husband committed suicide. With 3 children, Debbie was left as sole provider. She recalls working 2-3 jobs.
Anything
Inspite of her lot, Debbie told Marc “he could do anything he put his mind to.”
Dreams
First, Marc completed a year program and became a Pastor. Then he decided to go into pro-soccer with the Colorado Rapids. This was only cut short when he blew out his knee.
Better Or Quit
At this point he came to a place where we all get. A choice. Either push to be better/stronger through the disappointments or quit.
Sign Up
On May of 2001, Marc made that choice. He marched into a Navy Recruiter office and signed up to try out to be a Navy Seal at a school for the shortest amount of time they had available (around 6 weeks).
Intense
It was intense, including a week where he only got 4 hours of sleep. Here he learned to endure battle, fire, sleep deprivation and more.
Cost Of Everything
Then September 11, 2001 hit. Although Debbie had faced losing a husband, with her youngest Marc joining the military, now all 3 of her sons were serving. She knew their service might cost their family everything.
Bad Feeling
A week before his deployment, Marc came home. She remembers looking at her son, Kristofer and saying I don’t feel good about this…
Birthday Angel
A week later on August 2, 2006, she was at a Bible study celebrating her birthday when someone gave her a gift. It was an angel with the character quality, courage. She had no clue then how much she would need it, that night.
Grabbed
She still remembers the call. It was her son Kristofer. Calmly, with nothing in his voice to give away anything wrong, he asked, “Mom, how long will it take you to get home?” Grabbing her purse, on the way out the door, she asked the group to pray.
Shaken
She could sense something wasn’t right and she knew it was going to face her when she got home. On the way she sang a song over and over:
“I put my hope in you, oh Lord, trusting in you I will not be shaken, knowing that you will see me through, I put my hope in you.”
House Blow Up
Then she saw them. Emergency vehicles had blocked the intersection. At that moment she mentioned how she would have loved if it was her house that had blown up. To this day she can’t remember how but she made it, through the intersection to her home, but she did.
Debbie Lee With Son, Marc
Falling
Turning the corner on the street, she saw no unusual cars. Instead she saw her son, Kristofer, pacing. “Mom, the Navy is here. That’s when she knew. Falling on his shoulder she sobbed, “no, no.”
More Than Ever Before…
Soldiers who had been in her home for about an hour began:
“We know from being in your home that you are a woman of faith. You will need to rely on that faith more than ever before for what we are about to tell you. Your son, Marc has been killed in action…”
Surrounded
Although the words were tough to hear, Debbie remembers knowing God would somehow see her through. Many people came to surround her that night.
Lost Hope Unless
Later that night, alone, Debbie told God, “hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay.” In the silence she grabbed for her Bible.
It fell open to Psalm 27:13. It seemed like a message written specifically for her, for that moment.
“I had lost hope unless I had believed to see the goodness of God in the land of the living.”
Up & Down
From that point on, through the ups and downs of Marc’s funeral and grieving, Debbie has held onto this hope.
Hope
She has also passed on that hope by attending other soldiers’ funerals, helping other organizations, going to the place overseas where Marc served/gave his life for others, meeting national leaders, Presidents and the military.
Pass On
Inspired by Marc’s last letter home where he wrote her to “pass on the love the kindness the precious gift of human life,” Debbie started an organization.
Saved Lives
This organization helps military personel who struggle with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and Traumatic Brain Injurys (TBI) to cope with everything they have faced overseas. Among other things the organization also has an all-expense paid program that provides a retreat for Gold Star Families.
Overcoming Adversity
Besides all of this, Debbie is a well-known speaker who shares her story and gives others advice on overcoming adversity. I asked her to share a few tips she would tell those of you going through tough situations today.
Her advice:
- No matter your circumstances (loss, grief etc.) you get to choose one thing, how you go through it and your mindset.
- When life throws you tough situations do something physically to get going again. For her it started with going to the end of the driveway. Then the block, until she was at 5 miles.
- Focus on your food and what you are putting into your body.
- Serve others where you are at now (could be walking a neighbor’s dog, taking a meal to someone, reading a kids book at the library). It doesn’t have to cost money.
- Start your day by finding something to be grateful about. Focus on what you have instead of what is missing. It will start to improve your mental health.
Focus
Today Debbie focuses on the 28 years she was blessed with Marc Lee and the memories (instead of facts such as him never being a father or having children of his own). She also focuses on encouraging others through the quote (she signs with her name in the books she is a contributor of) to
“live y(our) lives to be worthy of their” (including Marc’s) “sacrifice.”
Organization: America’s Mighty Warrior’s Organization
Speaking ($5,000-$10,000 depending on event): Request Debbie Lee To Speak
Resources: Programs
Give Back To Those Who Serve: Donate Or Shop
Very powerful! Thank you for reminding us about the true meaning of Memorial Day. Bless all of the Gold Star Families.
You are welcome, Rita!
Maybe not #HappyMemorialDay
Something like #HaveAGratefulMemorialDay would be far better. (To go back to #5)
Thank you for your comment! I updated the hashtag to your suggestion!This is so much more appropriate for that day. Thanks again for taking time to comment.